Trick #1 Trick #2 Trick #3 NEVER REVISE. Pick Your Words Inadequately. Give It Unpleasant Structure. The right way to Write a Seriously Crappy Essay While my personal students instruct me new ways each year, I possess become a thing of an expert after on the decade of reading hundreds annually. Proceed... Ask me personally how various paragraphs you want it being. Nothing says how small you treatment like looking for the lowest amount of work just before you pick up your pen. Problem alone almost assures me personally that the essay is going to suck. It shows that you're not trying to solution the question, but calculating just how soon you can put the pen down. I are happy to strike a deal. Jots down as little as you may, and I will certainly reward you with the minimum score. When I do suggest a structure, always be strong; resist. What do I realize? I am your teacher, the one that almost certainly wrote the assignment, one which will level the job. Revert to five passage structure whenever feasible. This is the form of essay that you just learned in fourth quality. Why change and learn something new? Writing a great essay just like a fourth grader or 6th grader is a wonderful way to make sucky operate. Be sure to create an introduction that may be devoid of content. Try to end up being interesting without having to be informative. There is nothing more interesting than listening to people say nothing at all. Ask me a meaningless rhetorical question.
Say super evident statements like " Most people have a mom. "
Speak in wide-ranging, sweeping, inaccurate statements about life " nowadays" or " in older days. " My spouse and i am an English teacher.
Display how limited you think my personal mathematical functions are by simply counting off your body paragraphs for me. " First... "
" Second... "
" Third... "
Otherwise, I might not have realized that this is a five paragraph essay and you are discussing with me just like a fourth grader. If all else fails, only write a single paragraph. I am certain it will suck horribly; yet , I will never be sure. Let me simply supply you with the lowest possible level and proceed with living without ever...